Okay, I found a video of tay when she was done with her recital.

John Holt: Has she thanked you for anything you've done the last 20 days? Caleb Holt: No! And you'd think after I washed the car, I've changed the oil, do the dishes, cleaned the house, that she would try to show me a little bit of gratitude. But she doesn't! In fact, when I come home, she makes me like I'm - like I'm an enemy! I'm not even welcome in my own home, Dad. That is what really ticks me off! Dad, for the last three weeks, I have bent over backwards for her. I have tried to demonstrate that I still care about this relationship. I bought her flowers, which she threw away. I have taken her insults and her sarcasm, but last night was it. I made dinner for her. I did everything I could to demonstrate that I care about her, to show value for her, and she spat in my face! She does not deserve this, Dad. I'm not doing it anymore! How am I supposed to show love to somebody over and over and over who constantly rejects me? John Holt: [touches, then leans against cross] That's a good question

When I was watching fireproof and I heard this said I cried and cried. I always want god to take all my problems and stress out of my life, but I have never had a true open relationship with him. When ever something goes wrong in my life I always say"god were are you? why do you make me hurt so much and fall so hard." I felt that line in the movie was beeing spoken straight to me.

tay recital

tay had a strings recital. I am so proud of how much she has learned in half a year. You can't see her, but she is in the video. I am so sorry it is very shaky, just close your eyes and listen if it gives you sea sickness

Well, tay has her own blog now. I thought about it and let her have her own blog and she has her own e-mail. I did tell her that I will go on her e-mail ever now and then to see what is beeing said. I watched the movie fireproof on Saturday night, that movie is one of the best movies I have seen in along time.

Hi everyone,
Just wanted you to know tay and t.j are doing fine. T.j is learning to give hand shakes . The other day tay said bye to him and he waved bye to her. I am so proud of that little man . Tay is growing up so fast in front of me and it makes me happy and sad at the same time. I am having a hard time letting go of some of the rope that I have had around her and it scares me. I am praying that I am doing the right thing by letting her have more freedom. I know I am going to have to let her start going places on her own but it scares me becouse I cant be right there to make the bad stay away from my angel. I know, I know I have to pray about it and just put all my fears in gods hand and let him take over.
Tay has been hounding me about getting a my space acount and I have said no way. Well I prayed and prayed and decided this will be a place that is safe enough for her to chat with friends and I can monitor what is being said.